Daisy De La Hoya set to make out with high school seniors on TV
You know it’s a holiday when I’m posting about Rock of Love rejects. Daisy De La Hoya is getting her own reality show on VH1 titled Daisy of Love. (I hope somebody got a raise for that.) The show will air Spring 2009 and right now casting is underway at Daisyoflovecasting.com. However, the producers must be sh*tting themselves because the top contenders can’t even legally drink. People reports:
The profile with the most votes (330 currently) belongs to m1kee26, who says he’s 18 and from Staten Island, N.Y.
“I love to go out and have a great time,” he writes. “I am a fan of all the vh1 reality shows. My favorite so far was I love Money. I enjoy playing basketball, baseball and bowling. I am a liberal arts major and planning on become a Physical Therapist later on.”
Nate, also 18, from State College, Penn., is in a distant second place with 120 votes and writes: “I would love to go on this show and meet Daisy, since I know we’ve both been through a lot. I haven’t had much luck with love in my life, so going on this show and meeting a beautiful woman may be just what I need.”
Man, I feel bad for Nate. Eighteen years old and thinking he’s about to fall in love with a stripper on a reality show. Poor kid. Somebody should probably take him aside and let him know how these things work before he gets his heart broken. Unless, of course, he shoots hedge funds out of his penis, then maybe…
Travis Barker well enough to blog about his ex-wife
Usually, after having a near-death experience, one tends to set aside petty differences and focus on the simple joys of just being alive. Not Travis Barker. Blogging from his hospital bed to thank fans for their support, the former Blink 182 drummer took an awkward potshot at ex-wife Shanna Moakler on his MySpace page:
Despite any rumors you might have heard via my EX-wife Shanna Moakler, who I have not seen since the week I checked in, Ive been treated amazingly well, both here in LA and in Georgia. The hospitals Ive been treated at are THE BEST.
I can guarantee you, my friends, the last thing I’d be doing after a one-in-a-million escape from a fiery plane crash is blogging about my ex. I’d be sniffing every flower, savoring every meal and arguing with every nurse who tries to tell me strippers are a violation of hospital policy: “But they have stethoscopes! That’s medical.”
Wino’s Coke ‘N Candy Special
Snorting coke for breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert and all your snacks must get kind of mundane and boring, so you can’t blame the Crackie of Camden for trying to sugar up her diet it a little bit.
A friend of Wino’s tells the News of the World that is obsessed with a new delicious treat: cokey cotton candy!
It all started when Wino showed her friend and fellow crackhead Mik Whitnal her new $1400 cotton candy machine. Mik suddenly got the idea to sprinkle a little booger sugar on a piece of cotton candy.
The friend said, “He and some pals sprinkled a wrap of coke into the mixture and Amy started eating it before she realized what they’d done. She now thinks it’s a hoot to do the same. With her painfully thin frame and her wild beehive hair, she’s actually starting to look like a stick of candy floss herself.“
Wino might be on to something. I have always thought of her as the crackhead version of Martha Stewart. She should put out her own book of recipes: Cooking with CRACK (and other illegal substances). She could make everything from crackchiladas to heroin in a blanket. It’s a crack thing.
Blind Items: I Guess….You Guess….
Which politically active rapper makes a big show with the ladies in public, bragging about what a pimp he is, but has a thing for small Asian dudes on the side? (Full Disclosure)
DIDDY?! Wisit from “Top Design” should call him up.
Which closet gay Hollywood star tried it on with a straight actor at a party for one of his plays? The poor chap had to make his excuses and flee. (3am Girls)
Kevin Spacey?
Which billionaire tycoon is going to wed a much younger woman who’s never been married before? She’s been after the old codger since his wife of decades died. (Page Six)
I have no clue, but that gold digger needs to get that cash ASAP with the way that things are going.
Which rock superstar has been having an affair with his young blond personal buttistant? His longtime wife might suspect the worst because they’ve been squabbling plenty lately. (Page Six)
I immediately think of Jon Bon Jovi with these rocker blind items. I’ll guess JBJ or Sting?
Brad Pitt Is So Artsy
W Magazine has released a few more pictures from Brad Pitt’s “private” photo spread of his blessed holy family. By “private” I mean public.
The photos capture a week of intimate moments of Saint Angelina and her little deities. Yes, this is exactly how they are at home. They hang out in front of walls, Shiloh plays with garlic bulbs (what is that?), Saint Angie sits around in gauzy nightgowns and they laugh all the time. sh*t. You would laugh all the time too if you were perfect and knew it. You would lay about in your linen pants and cotton shirt and cackle about how wonderful your life is.
Saint Angie Jo also gave an interview to the magazine and talked about Maddox’s love of knives. She said, “My mom took me to buy my first daggers when I was 11 or 12. And I’ve already bought Maddox some things. We take him to a special shop.” She explained that the knives are dulled and she talks to him about violence, but they “also talk about samurais and about the idea of defending someone as good. We talk about everything.”
Thousands of Brangaloonie mommies just ran out to their local Wal-Mart to buy their young sons kitchen knives.
Saint Angie just confirmed that she is indeed training a child army. We already know that Maddox is the dagger expert. And Zahara has already mastered the art of bombing bisneyes with her eyes.
Click here to read the entire interview and to see more pictures. I’ve posted a few below. I think my favorite is the one of Saint Angie puckering up her mbuttive swollen roid lips. That’s what Gay Al Reynold’s butt looks like after a busy weekend.
Morning Wood
Vintage Brenda Walsh: Before she was a hot, crazy, Kelly Taylor-hating bisney - A Socialite’s Life
The Dodgers and Phillies fightless fight - SOW
Party with the Ewings for $1,000 - Celebisneyy
Tobey Maguire really hates the paparazzi - Mollygood
Janet Jackson canceled her 7th show in a row - E! Online
Megan Fox is a slutty geek - Popoholic
Lisa Kudrow selling fugly shopping bags at her son’s school fair - ICYDK
The booze bottle almost did Colin Farrell in - Holy Moly!
Crackie Horror Picture Show
Dreamboat Doherty is alive and…..well….he’s alive. I know. That claim is up for discussion. Dreamy has uploaded a new video to his YouTube account and basically Allison from “Intervention” is the only bisney who can probably understand it. Especially because in the video Dreamboat says one of his pussies is off to “mend the sunshine.” What’s with druggies and sunshine? Does that mean Funshine Bear was a major heroin junkie? I digress.
Most of Dreamy’s video is your regular crack sh*t. Dreamy plays with fire in his garden. Dreamys plays with a hammer. Dreamy talks to his house cleaner while she mops the floor. Yes, he has a cleaner even though his house still looks like the inside of a used roach motel. Her main job is probably to keep the crack pipes shiny and clean.
Speaking of, about 3:30 into the video, Dreamy’s sleeping in a hammock and his house cleaner wakes him up. They argue for a bit and then Dreamy starts lighting some kind of glbutt pipe thing. His house cleaner asks him, “I thought you weren’t doing that stuff any more.” Then she pours water all over his head. This is probably the first time in weeks that water has touched his head. I’m surprised the water didn’t jump the f**k off immediately after touching him.
Click here to see Dreamy’s special horror picture show. He disabled embedding.
A few hours after he uploaded his latest crack masterpiece, he put up another video of his son Astile dancing around with some creepy toy. Dreamy left this this message with the video: “crack? crack crack crack crack crack, you presumptious, hateful weirdo’s“
Below is the clip. Ugh. I need a few weeks in rehab after watching both of these videos.
Thanks Lola
The Talking Chihuahuas Can’t Be Stopped!
For the second weekend in a row, “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” is the #1 movie at the box office with $17.5 million. It’s made a total of $52.4 million. Damn. Stoners and screaming babies must really love this sh*t.
The end is near (see below), so people would rather be entertained by a singing chihuahua than a talking DiCaprio. It makes sense. Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe’s new bore fiesta “Body of Lies” was no match for the dancing chihuahuas.
“Body of Lies” brought in $13.1 million, which was good enough for the third spot. HAH! My chihuahua laughs at the dude from “Titanic.”
That horror movie that we’ve probably seen a million times “Quarantine” was the #2 movie of the weekend with $14.2 million.
I was tempted to see “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” this weekend, but I decided to wait until it shows up on my Netflix queue. That way I can see it from the comfort of my own bong. Besides, if I want to be entertained by a talking chihuahua, I just have to take a few dozen bong hits and stare at my own dog. We’ve seriously had some amazing and deep conversations while riding on the green cloud. He knows me better than anyone.
Here’s the weekend’s top 10:
1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua - $17.5 million
2. Quarantine - $14.2 million
3. Body of Lies - $13.1 million
4. Eagle Eye - $11.0 million
5. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist - $6.5 million
6. The Express - $4.7 million
7. Nights in Rodanthe - $4.6 million
8. Appaloosa - $3.3 million
9. The Duchess - $3.3 million
10. City of Ember - $3.2 million
So Long, Mother’s Cookies
This is exactly why Mondays are disgusting and gross. I always hear horrific news like this on a Monday morning. Workers at Mother’s Cookies were told on October 3rd that the company is shutting down for good and cookies will no longer be made. NO!!!!! Who’s going to make those delicious frosted animal cookies?! I used to eat that sh*t with milk for breakfast.
The company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last Monday. Their distribution plants in Ohio and Canada are closed forever The private equity firm that owned Mother’s blamed rising fuel and ingredient prices. I blame those Keebler elves. Do those bisneyes have an alibi? And if the Keebler elves are involved, you know the Olsen trolls had something to do with it.
Employees at Mother’s were not given the federally required 60-day notice due to “unforeseeable business circumstances.” That means they couldn’t pay them anymore.
This is the end of an era. It’s also the end of days. Why go on if we can’t have those scrumptious frosted circus animal cookies anymore?
If you’ll excuse me, I have to furiously search the interwebs and buy up every last bag of Circus Animal cookies. Since the world is ending, I want to go down stuffing my face with sprinkled frosted goodness.
Rest in peace, Mother’s Cookies….
Source: SF Gate
Thanks Danielle
JLo And Skeletor Are Truly In Love
Triathlon champion and NON-Scientologist JLO renewed her wedding vows with Skeletor this past weekend in Las Vegas. UsWeekly reports that it was a joint ceremony with their friends Mets player Carlos Beltran and his wife Jessica. The dumb ceremony took place in the penthouse at Caesars Palace at around 3:30am.
JLo and her virgin-blood drinking husband have only been married 4 years. Yes, 4 years and they’re already renewing their vows. They’re probably as shocked as we are that they’ve actually lasted 4 years.
A source said that the romantic evening (eye roll and then barf) started out at dinner. The couples then went to see the Pussycat Dolls show at Pure. While there, Skeletor started asking around for a minister. A zombie asking for a minister! There’s a joke in there somewhere.
A minister was found and the ceremonies took place shortly after 3 in the morning. A source said, “It was very intimate and sweet. They both talked about how much they love each other. The word ‘forever’ was used a lot!”
The word “forever” in Hollywood-talk means 2-5 years maximum.
JLo’s parents weren’t at the ceremony because they were because taking care of the Dragon Tales Twins. Remember them? I’m sure you do, but JLo doesn’t.
I don’t know if they were high on drugs or booze, but I do know that they are constantly high on famewhoring. That sh*t is worse than crack. And JLo’s mbuttive ego was also involved. A mbuttive ego and an addiction to famewhoring causes you to do sh*t like this for a little cheap publicity.