Only press play if you’re okay with using X amount of seconds of your day and okay with straining several muscles in your face from mouthing the words “what in every God’s name am I watching…” on a loop. The porn iguana Courtney Stodden should be sitting in a chair in school, but instead she’s using her time to make performance art pieces like this one of her as a cat. Courtney isn’t trying to put on a total sexy pussycat act on either. bisney is acting like an actual cat! This is some high school drama club exercise sh*t! Courtney coughs up a weave ball, eats cat food out of a bag and kicks litter around with her lucite heels. It’s a Sarah McLachlan song away from being the most terrifying SPCA PSA ever. Please spay, neuter (and don’t drug up) your pets!

via ONTD

Prince William, Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Kate are obviously discussing the super important topic of vagina balls – Lainey Gossip

Just once can The Berry please do pantless Fridays? – The Berry

Oh, RiRi’s just sniffing her fingers and covering her nipple knobs for Esquire – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

The Glittery Gays of YouTube take on that annoying song that won’t stop buzzing around my eardrums – Towleroad

Why do I have a feeling that Billy Ray Cyrus was below that balcony with his mouth open? – Hollywood Tuna

RiRi’s outfit looked a lot better when it was laid on top of my mom’s breakfast table – The Superficial

There must be something terribly wrong with my senses because I actually like what’s on Jada Pinkett Smith’s body – Popsugar

Kate Moss is so used to modeling that she can do it in her sleep! No seriously, I think she’s asleep in these pictures. Like with her eyes open. – ICYDK

Rachel Bilson dressed like a victorian toddler at her first communion – Popoholic

3 fap-worthy words: Stephen Harper Naked – OMG Blog

INSOUPTION! – Videogum

Looking like she just ate a bowl of Wite Out – Crunk + Disorderly

The time I mistook Ali Larter for Meg Ryan – Celebslam

“So is that where I swipe my AMEX?” – the Swedish Shauna Sand’s sugar daddy – IDLYITW

Just throw some horsey sauce on that finger and eat up! – Hollywood Rag

That is an S.O.S. side-eye if I ever saw one – I’m Not Obsessed

Still needs more ManJello nipples – Just Jared

Theresa Giudice just cackled so hard that her gorilla head hairline jumped back a few inches – Cityrag

There’s a Ukrainian reporter whose “thing” is to kiss the cheeks of celebrities on the red carpet and I guess most celebrities are okay with it, but Will Smith was not one of those celebrities at the premiere of Men In Black 3 in Moscow today. The reporter put his lips on Will Smith’s face and Will got bisneyy with it by pushing that ho before swatting him in the face. From afar, it probably looked like a typical lovers quarrel. You’d think Will would be into it since that reporter sort of has a Tommy Girl-ish quality about his face. It is that reporter’s fault, though. Dude needed to do his research before going in. Next time he should wear either a Jada Pinkett Smith or Duane Martin mask, because those are the only dudes Will kisses in public.

via TMZ & Hip Hollywood

I’m living my PERSONAL life the way I’m happiest. I’m not one, in my 25 year career to disclose who I’m dating. and I shall not start now.

My sexual orientation is mine, and the person I’m datings to know. I’m not one for a public display of my life.

However that is my right as a HUMAN BEing whether straight or gay. To tell or not to tell. As long as I’m not harming anyone.

I am a light being made from love. And my career is the only thing I would like to put on display, not my personal life. Kisses!

Three things:

1. Raven has been in the game for 25 years?! Welcome to Old Town. Population: ALL OF US.

2. I get that Raven wants to Anderson Cooper it, but at least one time in my life I want to see her zooming down a pride parade route on a Segway with a rainbow flag in her hand.

3. Light being made from love? bisney didn’t come out as a lesbian, but she did come out as a f**king Care Bear. I KNEW IT!

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we see Lena Dunhan, self-proclaimed “voice of her generation,” and that voice apparently says, “You know what? I earned these chili fries….” We’ve also got Joshua Jackson letting us all know it’s ok to just stare directly at them, or desperately search for them in the case Read More …

One of my biggest regrets in life, besides drinking an all-green protein shake for breakfast today (BARF! NEVER AGAIN!),  is not getting a job as a janitor, muralist or glory hole attendant at Facebook during its earlier days. Because if I did, about this time tomorrow I’d be writing Dlisted posts from my private island while clones of Prince Hot Ginge feed me a fresh batch of Zingers I had flown in on my invisible Wonder Woman plane flown by Lynda Carter herself. As you know by now, Facebook went public today and not only is this going to make Mark Zuckerberg a boy billionaire 20 times over, but it might make Bono richer than Paul McCartney.

HuffPo says that in 2009, Bono’s company Elevation Partners invested $90 million in Facebook, which earned them 2.3 percent of the company. With Facebook’s IPO expected to hit $100 billion, Elevation Partners’ shares could be worth up to $1.5 billion. The not-at-all reliable Celebrity Net Worth says Bono’s solid gold money vault is filled with around $900 million. Depending on how much of Elevation’s earnings belongs personally to Bono, he could be richer than Paul McCartney by the end of the day. Paul McCartney is currently worth around $1.05 billion.

Bono is obviously going to use a lot of that money to fund his various charitable causes, or at least he’s going to use a lot of that money to throw a charity benefit where U2 will play for a $5 million fee and A-listers will drink $20-a-sip champagne. But Bono should also use that money to build a portable moat around him, because that booming hopping sound you hear is Heather Mills coming to snatch his butt!

No Joe Jonas strut show is complete without a theme song, so press play and get your snappin’ fingers ready:

“Honey, don’t stop a speeding train before it reaches its destination.” It’s like 1980s Sheena Easton was a visitor from the future and thought about Joe Jonas’ strut when she sang out that lyric. No truer words have ever been sung.

Runners-up:

Ted Nugent produced a short educational video on how one should protect themselves from the government while bathing. – fosho

The Tooth Fairy will never be the same after visiting Gary Busey’s home. – ediblegreg

Jeez, John Travolta really does have a bad reputation at the saunas if everybody acts like that when they get word he’s in town. – TexnDoc

via Evil Milk