Camila looks pretty hot for just having a baby. I’m buttuming that bisney had the works after she gave birth. Every Hollywood bisney probably gets it. The doctors don’t even ask anymore. As soon as baby pops out, they bring in the wet vac and make it all right again.

Matthew also went for a walk later in the day with Baby Levi Strauss and a “friend.” GAY! And how can Matthew have two baby strollers? They can fit both of those things in his trailer home?

One of Keith’s lady friends, who lives with him, called the po po and got her old man arrested. What a bisney! He was probably interrupting her favorite “Mama’s Family” re-run.

Keith was arrested and charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed. When asked why he shot the lawn mower, he said (read this with a raspy slur) “I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want.” Pepaw has a point.

Keefs (that’s probably what his friends call him because they are all drunks) faces up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.

Keef’s lady friend also told the police he was drunk at the time. You f**king think? Just from looking at his mug shot, I can smell the mixture of Early Times whiskey and Pall Malls.

That being said, I wouldn’t hit it. Shocking, eh? Okay, I’m lying. I totally would if he shared some of his Early Times with me.

Source

Thanks Carol Ann

I hope Lourdes is leading her mother to the nearest buffet, followed by a 6-month nap in an oxygen chamber. Calgon, take Vadge away!

A source claims that even though Balthazar’s pepaw is a billionaire, he hasn’t seen any of the family money. Rosetta supported his butt until he got the “Brothers & Sisters” job.

What is the point of being married to a Getty if you’re not bathing in $100 bills every night? I mean, Balthazar is hot and everything, but he looks like he has an “innie” and I’m not talking about his belly button.

Rosetta better not take his skeezer butt back! Instead, she should make him think that if he does a bunch of sh*t for her, she’ll take him back. She should make him videotape himself shutting a desk drawer on his peen. Or make him use his urethra as a mouth to say, “My name is Little Balthazar and I am stupid, fugly, piece of trash who ruins lives.” I do that sh*t in the bathtub when I’m bored. Don’t judge!

Anyway, the Brit and KFed custody battle is officially over for now. Yesterday, Commissioner Gordon signed off on the custody agreement. KFed gets sole custody of SPF and JJ with Brit Brit getting visitation rights. She currently has one sleepover per week and will get another one before the end of the year.

KFed will get $20,000 a month in child support. He used to get $15,000. Brit also has to pay off his $250,000 legal bill. Daddy Spears, who is in charge of her butt until July 31st, agreed to the settlement.

Brit Brit will probably ask for 50/50 custody once the conservatorship ends.

Damn, KFed and his attorneys probably celebrated with whores, hot wings and Henny. $250,000? I really should have been a lawyer. Too bad I hate wearing a suit. Seriously, lawyers might be happier if they could wear shorts and t-shirts to work. The only bisney that should be allowed to wear a suit is Rojo Caliente. She makes it looks effortless.

OK! Magazine asked KFed’s lawyer why he needed the $5,000 a month increase and his lawyer said, “He’s trying to contribute as much [of his own money] as he can. It’s never been about the money.” Cue laugh track.

For Brittany