John Mayer has a new album to promote, so it’s time to make with what he thinks are hilarious slice-of-life stories about how much pussy he gets because he’s so super-rich it doesn’t even matter that he walks around pretending to be Johnny Depp. Or homeless. I don’t even know how you tell the difference. Read More …
Snooki’s Having A Boy
Because soon people will realize they’ve been hypnotized into staring at the warthog from The Lion King get the clap and stop watching, Snooki is selling every last detail of her pregnancy to anyone with a checkbook and/or pack of Slim Jims. So here she is exclusively revealing to In Touch that she’s having a Read More …
Good Morning, Irina Shayk, And Other News
- A woman’s abs are like magic. – Apparently jabbing your penis into a pile of Silly Putty with tits is the new Faberge Egg. – Weird Things Your Favorite Teen And Child Stars Are Up To Now – So Brad Pitt really has no intention of marrying Angelina Jolie. That’s Read More …
Tracy Morgan is Khloe Kardashian’s Father
Okay, so that headline may not be entirely true – Although, she did turn down that DNA test. – but it is one of the 800 random things Tracy Morgan said during his appearance on Conan last night which are always f**king hilarious. I don’t want to oversell it, but the Charlton Heston bit was Read More …
The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.22.12
Welcome To Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where Kevin James jumps on the internet’s hottest new meme, ‘Hilling,’ Gerard Butler knows how to make himself look like less of a coked-out whoremonger by comparison, There’s Something About Guy, and holy cow, Bill Paxton really was the international terrorist known as Carlos this whole time! Seriously, Read More …
Miley Cyrus Thinkin’ She’s A Dang Ol’ Sex Expert
As part of her, “Garsh, I Sure Grow’d Up Tour,” Miley Cyrus stopped by Lifetime’s The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet where I reckon she done pontifercated and philosophicalized the ins and outs of the daddy-daughter dance for such are its proclivities and the like. Via Page Six: “I was talking about this at dinner Read More …
Kelly Brook Wore A Bikini, Too
Here’s Kelly Brook on the set of a photo shoot in Cannes where her breasts looked just gigantic and awesome. I don’t know what random god I pleased to deserve such a bounty, but I’ll bet it has something to do with not blowing that entire Nativity scene while it was sleeping that one Christmas. Read More …
Johnny Depp ‘Adopted’ By Comanche Nation
“Wait. For real? Like the baking powder?” While Johnny Depp may or may not have based part of his Tonto performance on Marilyn Manson, he definitely based it off a painting by an artist who literally just makes up his own Indian outfits because his historical research stops around, “Eh, they probably liked birds.” But Read More …
John Travolta Remembers Robin Gibb
While John Travolta will tell you during a night of seduction and hamburgers that he made it big satisfying the sexual appetite of the gay Jews who run Hollywood – He’s perfectly straight himself though, for the record. Handjob? – but it was Saturday Night Fever that really propelled him to stardom and featured a Read More …
Laura Vandervoort Wins
So remember earlier when we all arguing about Daisy Fuentes and Gabrielle Anwar? Shut up with your granny porn. Here’s Laura Vandervoort posing for Esquire and Me In My Place‘s magical team effort to take pictures of hot, on-the-cusp model/actresses standing around their house in their underwear. Which, fun fact, was Leonardo Da Vinci’s original Read More …

















































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