Monthly Archives: February 2011

I was wondering why Natalie Portman thanked Michelle Rodriguez* in her never-ending acceptance speech of never-ending thank yous last night, but now I know why. Natalie’s unborn baby is the reincarnation of Nostradamus and told her that Michelle Rodriguez would … Continue reading →

If you’re about to get into a bowl of Pintos ‘N Cheese or a bean enchilada, you better just back it up and stay far away from this post until you let out your last digestive burp. Okay, now that … Continue reading →

Jane Russell, one of the last jewels of Old Hollywood, died at her home in Santa Maria, CA today and is now ogling at the biceps on angels up in heaven. Jane’s daughter-in-law tells Reuters that she died of respiratory … Continue reading →

Wearing a thick layer of stearic acid to protect his skin from melting into a puddle on the sand, Calvin Klein dragged his body through the beach in Miami yesterday with his former porn star piece Nick Gruber at his … Continue reading →

But Selena Kay Letourneau wrote him a tardy letter to take to his guardians, so it was all good. At the Vanity Fair post-Oscar party last night, the sparkling Pedialyte started flowing as soon as the Portia and Ellen of … Continue reading →

On Twitter I said that Cate Blanchett’s dress looks like My Little Pony’s genital warts. But now that I look at it a second time, it looks more like My Little Pony’s coagulated cum shot. And in a sea of … Continue reading →

via Buzzfeed

Stan Rosenfield would like to keep the hair he has left safe from Charlie Sheen’s fire-breathing fists, so he has joined the mound of maggot trolls by leaving the octagon for good. As his former client would say, Stan is … Continue reading →

Knowing very well that Paula Deen’s tongue can scrape the butter out of every nook and cranny, Food Network’s Robert Irvine smeared fermented cream all over his hard biscuits and let Fry Daddy’s sweetheart go hog wild on that sh*t … Continue reading →

After watching Melissa Leo’s acceptance speech at the Oscars last night for the third time, it seems like she practiced it for hours beforehand in front of the bathroom mirror in her hotel suite and made her buttistant shine a … Continue reading →