No, Shakira, No

At a Rolling Stone party in NYC last night, Shakira was the latest ho to prove that dreadlocks are really not for everyone. Dreadlocks should have to approved by a committee of professionals, because these pictures immediately made me think of this:

And then that thought traveled down a terrible tunnel which landed me on this:

If some bisney brought up John Travolta in Battlefield Earth and my hair in the same sentence, I’d immediately induce a “Britney shaving her head” moment. If there weren’t clippers nearby, I’d get a serious bull butchie to pretend it’s a hairy snatch and chew it off. MAN DOWN CODE 10!