Congressman Alcee Hastings of Florida got dirtay dirtay by reading a long butt list of some nasty fetish sh*t written by the author of a proposed amendment on a hate crime bill . That list sounds like a regular Thursday night for me. No, I wish. Actually, I don’t wish. There’s a lot of filthy R.Kelly approved sh*t (literally) on that list.
Although, I’m glad I know the fancy name for phone f**king now. I wish I would’ve known that when I was a teenager. When my mom asked me what I was doing with the phone for 2 hours in the bathroom, I could’ve just said, “Telephonicophilia homework, ok! Damn!” She still would’ve known what I was up to, but at least it would make me sound smarter.
Because of Alcee’s (totally hot name) robust “hint of James Earl Jones” voice, it sort of sounds like he’s reading Shakespeare. Alcee really knows how to make dirtiness sound like clbuttic literature!
VIA TMZ
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