79% Quantum of Solace
Daniel Craig orders another martini shaken, not stirred, with this sequel to 2006’s reboot of the James Bond franchise, CASINO ROYALE.
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
After they escaped from New York City, the creatures of 2005’s MADAGASCAR are back in this African adventure.
Role Models
In this comedy, Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott play two men who are hardly model citizens. But their bad behavior puts them in trouble with the law, and soon the men must act as mentors as a part of their community service.
Soul Men
Two former backup soul singers Louis (Samuel L. Jackson) and Floyd (Bernie Mac) travel cross country to perform at a tribute concert in honor of their famous former band leader.
Dukes
In this heist comedy, a pair of doo-wop singers called the Dukes (Chazz Palminteri and Robert Davi) have seen better days.
Suri Is Not Amused
Stepford Katie showed up to her daily “pap show” with Suri today wearing the exact same orange cult dress! Suri specifically told that dumb bisney not to wear the orange one. Katie’s obviously got barley dust in her ears, but Suri will clean that sh*t out with computer dust later.
You know, I was thisclose to dressing as Suri for Halloween, but I get cold in the bones easily and don’t want to run around without a coat on. Besides, I’d just end up looking LIKE THIS. That’s exactly what Tommy Girl looks like when he plays dress up in Suri’s clothes.
If You Ever Find Yourself At One Of Diddy’s Parties, Eat The Brownies
Douche-faced Mark Ronson (yes, I’ve fallen out of love) worked one of Diddy’s Jizz Parties in the Hamptons recently and he took advantage of the bowl of delicious brownies that was being pbutted around. Mark claims he didn’t know the brownies were filled with scrumptious chronic.
Mark tells Page Six, “I hadn’t eaten all day, and I was starving. They were coming around with this bowl of brownies, and I grabbed three of them and just started scarfing them down. After that, every lyric sounded like it was the Cookie Monster yelling in my ear, and I started feeling really sh*tty, but I had to play through the set. I couldn’t just go up to Puffy and say, ‘Sorry, I ate a sh*t-load of hash brownies, I can’t do your White Party.‘ “
What does he expect? Everything at one of Doody’s parties is probably laced with something. In addition to the pot brownies, he has meth pigs in a blanket, coke and cheese tarts and MDMA turkish cigars. That’s the only way you can deal with Diddy’s circle jerk of a soiree.
I probably would have taken a dozen brownies from the bowl, walked across the street, called in an “anonymous” drug tip and then enjoyed my delicious chocolate leaf goodies while watching the po-po take Doody away in cuffs.
Google Me, You Dumb Fuck!
Tila Tequila’s partner in pussay, Courtenay Semel, got into a little altercation in August with a security guard at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas which led to her beating his butt. The beaten down security guard, Jaroslaw Jarczok, filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles yesterday asking for unspecified damages.
In the papers, Coleslaw (that’s my nickname for him) says a drunken Nay Nay got all mouthy with him at around 4 in the morning. She got so out of hand that he had to cuff her butt. Nay Nay didn’t feel like getting kinky, so she allegedly punched him in the face.
Now, most bisneyes would probably follow that up by screaming “Take that, motherf**ker!” or “That’s right bisney!” Nay Nay decided to go a different route. She shouted at the dude, “Do you even know who I am, f**king idiot?…Google me, you dumb f**k.” She gets a 9 from me! She would’ve gotten a perfect 10 if she called him a “dumb person” instead.
Although, her father probably gave her a big 0 since he used to be the HBIC at Yahoo. Sorry, but “Yahoo me, you dumb f**k” just doesn’t have the same charming ring to it.
Coleslaw also states in the papers that he’s been humiliated and “anxious about receiving harbutting comments by his friends.” He should be. “Google me, you dumb f**k” is going to follow him around for the rest of his days.
sh*t! I’m going to start using it. When a restaurant host asks my name, I’m going to respond with, “Google me, you dumb f**k!” When I call my sister and she asks who it is, you know what I’m going to say. You can use it for everything!
Nay Nay should really consider naming her first born “Google me, you dumb f**k!“
Source: TMZ
More Pictures From The Most Elegant Wedding Of The Year
Yesterday, I wrote about the £100,000 fairytale wedding of 16-year-old Missy Quinn and 17-year-old Thomas. Missy’s daddy paves driveways for a living, but he somehow managed to pay for this lavish affair complete with her £16,000 gorgeous wedding bikini-dress-thing.
Here’s a few more pictures from Closer Magazine of the wedding of the year. These pictures just confirm that this is the way all weddings were meant to be. I need to track down the Quinn’s caravan, because I must beg them to adopt me into their family. I have to be around this kind of glamour and elegance 24-hours a day.
There’s probably an extra black hole in the earth’s core from the intense glamour rays this wedding created. I’m surprised the world didn’t break in two.
And don’t show Chris Hansen or Peta the third thumbnail below.
Stylista: Panic Attack!!!!!
Last night on Stylista (yes, I’m watching that trash), one of the gays, Jason, had a complete freak out, because he was so afraid that one of his f**ktard teammates would call him out during judging.
It just started out as a rash (it always does) and quickly turned into a full-blown, pube-ripping, tongue biting, panic attack! I mean, this bisney was on the floor having some sort of exorcism! Some hos came to his aid, but other skanks (like that person Megan) just sat back and watched. They could have hit him with a dick or shoved a valium up his cooch! Something! The dude was hysterical. I shouldn’t talk, because that’s how I get when the bartender cuts me off at the bar.
Instead of freaking out, Jason should have taken his angst out on that personwitch Megan! I just want to smoosh her face into a piece of Play-Do so that I can mold it into a heart and then stomp all over it! She makes me so angry! Every time she comes on the screen, I want to take a dump in my favorite pair of shoes as punishment for willfully watching her f**kery!
In the end, the ambulance people came and carted Jason away to the nearest loony bin. No, he was just taken to the hospital, but showed up right before judging. I was expecting Anne Slowey to say to him, “You’re such a drama queen!” That’s what Miranda Priestley would’ve said.