This Pepaw Really Hates His Lawn Mower
When something in your house breaks, a normal person would kick it or call it a “stupid person.” Not Keith Walendowski from Milwaukee. When his lawn mower didn’t start, he shot the bisney. You know he probably yelled, “Godamn stupid f**king lawn damn f**king mower!” when he shot at it.
One of Keith’s lady friends, who lives with him, called the po po and got her old man arrested. What a bisney! He was probably interrupting her favorite “Mama’s Family” re-run.
Keith was arrested and charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed. When asked why he shot the lawn mower, he said (read this with a raspy slur) “I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want.” Pepaw has a point.
Keefs (that’s probably what his friends call him because they are all drunks) faces up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison if convicted.
Keef’s lady friend also told the police he was drunk at the time. You f**king think? Just from looking at his mug shot, I can smell the mixture of Early Times whiskey and Pall Malls.
That being said, I wouldn’t hit it. Shocking, eh? Okay, I’m lying. I totally would if he shared some of his Early Times with me.
Thanks Carol Ann
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