Morning Wood
Them again? Give it a bone! - I’m Not Obsessed
Tom Brady might be taking it off for CK underwear - Towleroad
So Angelina is having twins after all? I can’t keep up - Mollygood
Wino is officially off the hook - Holy Moly!
Katherine Heigl wants off of Grey’s Anatomy - Celebitchy
The Iron Man trailer - ICYDK
Kate Hudson VS. Katherine Heigl - Lainey Gossip
And Then A Hero Comes Along With The Strength To Carry On!
Dreamboat Pete Doherty was named “Hero of the Year” at the NME Awards. NME readers voted Pete to win the award. The night before the NME show, Dreamboat performed in London with a bloody nose. He said he got into a little “scrap with his cat.” I think that’s crack talk for “I did too much coke off of a whore’s pussy.”
Congrats to Pete for winning this high honor! He’s my hero every day of the week. Oh and if you ever catch anyone you care about doing too many drugs and you want to help them, show them this picture and that will set them straight.
Thanks Peaches
Penny Is Going Down
Page Six reports that things are getting mighty serious between Javier Bardem and Penny Cruz. Javier flew his family in from Spain to meet Penny and attend the Oscars. Penny partied with Javier’s hot mom (above) and wasn’t afraid to feel up her man in front of the family.
A source said, “He took Penelope for a spin on the dance floor in front of all his family. It’s getting pretty serious.” This story is full of hurtful lies. Javier would never do this to me. Besides just because you dirty dance with a bitch in front of your family, doesn’t mean you’re going to share your social security number with them. Penny needs to go away and suck on Salma Hayek’s chichis, because that’s what she really wants in life.
I hope that Penny doesn’t screw Javier over or there’s going to be hell to pay. Look at Javier’s mother. She may be all smiles and roses on the outside, but the woman looks like she could beat the hell out of a bitch with a fallen tree branch. My abuelita used to pull branches off of trees in the backyard to beat us with. I never understood this, because she could easily beat us with a broom or something, but for some reason she really loved hitting us with fresh tree branches. She was natural like that.
This Is Her Natural Expression
Winona Ryder attended the Valentino show in Paris yesterday with a new dude. It looks like they go to the same hairdresser. Hair twins. Winona needs to let her face relax. Maybe she can’t. She looks like an ass virgin getting it for the first time. We all had that look on our faces when we got it in the butt for the first time. That look like, “I don’t know if I can do this……..my ass is going to explode all over his dick!”
Oh Wino! Just relax and let your ass explode or just lay off the eye lifts.
Put The Hat Back On
I get on Brad Pitt for always wearing hats and then for wearing that hideous weave/wig thing and now I know why he does it. Put that shit back on, Brad. Hopefully he’s getting paid a gazillion dollars for this haircut, because it’s not doing him any favors. That haircut makes him look like a child-touching middle-school janitor with bad credit and a failing marriage.
Brad got the cut for his new movie “The Tree of Life” which is currently shooting in Texas. It also stars Sean Penn. Brad, keep the hat on.
Prince Hot Ginge Heads Home
Prince Hot Ginge has been pulled from Mission: Save The World and is returning home to England reports People. Harry had been in Afghanistan since December and the British Army had made an agreement with the media to keep that shit quiet, but news leaked yesterday. The fun is over.
The Ministry of Defense said, “Following a detailed assessment of the risks by the operational chain of command, the decision has been taken … to withdraw Prince Harry from Afghanistan immediately. This decision has been taken primarily on the basis that the worldwide media coverage of Prince Harry in Afghanistan could impact on the security of those who are deployed there, as well as the risks to him as an individual soldier.”
23-year-old Harry was due to stay there until April on a secret mission against the Taliban. He told the press, “[I] finally get the chance to actually do the soldiering I wanted to do from ever since I joined.” He also said he hoped his mother would be proud.
Damn you fun killers! It’s ok Prince Hot Ginge, you can come visit me and we’ll play soldiers in the desert. You can give me a few shots to the face and pop my cannon.
Harry will be back in Afghanistan. I know it. You can’t keep a hot ginge down for long.
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For February 28th!!!
Your husband might be gay if you send him out for a pack of Juicy Fruit and he brings back this. - Hoozer
Runners-up:
Ha! They act all tough now, but watch their little terrified asses run away when the Lesbian Gang shows up! - Madam S.
Please…STOP showing us how everything you touch turns into Skittles…I’m BEGGING YOU!!!!! - knitaddict
Thanks Jade
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Cindy the balancing spaniel!
Visit the Daily Mail for more pictures of this hot slut!
Birthday Sluts
Antonio Sabato Jr. (36)
Lena Gercke (20)
Ja Rule (32)
Anthony Robbins (48)
Dennis Farina (64)
Gretchen Christopher (68)
Jack Lousma (72)
Joss Ackland (80)
James Mitchell (88)
Heath Ledger's doctors cleared by feds
The DEA has ended their investigation of two doctors in the Heath Ledger case. The doctors supposedly prescribed Heath the pain medication that resulted in his death, but federal agents are clearing them of any wrongdoing, according to the New York Post:
The Drug Enforcement Agency questioned the medics and found that both of them had met with the “Brokeback Mountain” star and prescribed him other medications, but they are not the source of the two powerful drugs taken by Ledger, 28, who was found dead on Jan. 22.
So Heath Ledger got his medication from God knows where and unfortunately took too much. Tragic stuff, for sure, but I think the press has milked all they can out of this story. Unfortunately, however and still using the cow metaphor, Britney Spears’ milk bladder of news is not only dragging on the ground it’s hanging over the fence and spraying the neighboring farm. Which would be awesome if Old Man Jenkins wasn’t lactose intolerant. That poor metaphorical bastard.